CHICAGO, IL — Reports out of Harpo Studios indicate that at least 100 audience members suffered what are known as grand mal seizures (tonic-clonic seizures) today during a taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show. The show was Oprah’s yearly holiday themed extravaganza known as “Oprah’s Favorite Things.”
During the show, Oprah gives away dozens of prizes to her audience. This being her final season, the popular television talk show host wanted to make this year’s episode extra special by giving away the biggest gifts to date. Well, along with a cruise and extremely expensive earrings, many members of Oprah’s audience received an all expenses paid trip to the Mount Sinai Medical Center for neurological evaluation.
A grand mal seizure is a generalized seizure the affects the whole brain. During the “tonic” phase a person will lose consciousness and the muscles will tense up. Sometimes, the person will let out a loud moan due to air being forced out of the lungs. During the “clonic” phase the person will go into convulsions, coupled with a rolling or closing of the eyes. In some cases, the person can even become incontinent. All of these symptoms, with the exception of the incontinence (as far as we know), can be seen in the video above.
Most of the audience members who suffered the seizures were already in the “postictal” state (the sleepy period following a seizure) by the time rescue crews arrived on scene, and according to reports, all of those taken to the hospital have been released and are expected to make a full recovery.
Ninja Satire 
Should they have also won spoons to put in each others mouths?
oh….wait….this just in, spoons are a bad idea, no one can swallow their tongue unless Oprah specifically requires it.
Hahaha Oprah rules us all