Master Kushikimi-San's

REPORT: Fmr. President Jimmy Carter Snatches Palestinian Baby While in Middle East

In Culture, Democrats, Humor, In The News, News, Political Satire, Politics, Satire, Tidbits, Travel on November 22, 2010 at 09:02

EAST JERUSALEM, ISRAEL — Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and…Jimmy Carter?  Rumors have been swirling in recent weeks that during his October 21st visit to the neighborhood of Silwan in East Jerusalem, Former President Jimmy Carter took a Palestinian baby out of a crowd and brought it back to the United States, presumably with the intention of adopting the child.  Fmr. Pres. Carter, 86, is well-known for his humanitarian work around the world, though it seems his yearning to do good may have landed him in hot water this time.

A photo obtained by Ninja Satire clearly shows the former President with the baby in his arms, ducking through a crowd of powerless onlookers, while surrounded by members of the United States Secret Service.  All requests for comment have been denied by representatives of the former President, although a close friend of the Georgia native told Ninja Satire that, “President Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, have been considering adoption for some time now.  From what I gather, Jimmy saw a baby in the busy streets of Silwan, no parents or guardian in sight, and made a rash decision.”

Good intentions aside, Fmr. Pres. Carter may have inadvertently caused an international incident.  Although he was visiting the Israeli town of Silwan, the baby he reportedly snatched was Palestinian.  Groups such as Hamas and the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) have blasted the former President’s actions as “another example of the oppression and overt racism our people suffer on a daily basis at the hands of the Zionist governments around the world.”

If the reports are true, it is most likely that Fmr. Pres. Carter would be forced to relinquish the child to immigration officials for deportation back to the Middle East where, one can imagine, it would return to a life spent wandering the streets of East Jerusalem with a complete lack of parental supervision.

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  1. It would be a shame if he returned him. It’s about time Amy had a brother to play with.

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