Master Kushikimi-San's

REPORT: Local Dentist has Bad Breath

In Family, Health, Humor, Life, News, Occupational Irony Department, Satire, Tidbits on November 11, 2010 at 14:18

GREEN BAY, WI — Dr. Peter O’Reilly has been practicing dentistry for more than thirty years and has long been regarded as one of the top dentists in Eastern Wisconsin.  However, in a new survey, 4 out of 5 of his patients agree; Dr. O’Reilly has bad breath caused by gingivitis.

“It’s hands down one of the nastiest things I’ve ever smelled,” said one patient, “he thought I was cringing because of the drill…I’ll tell ya…I’d rather have a tooth pulled than suffer through another minute of that sh*t.”  To make matters worse, apparently Dr. O’Reilly is one of those dentists who likes to tell stories…long stories.  A patient who wishes to be called “Luke” told Ninja Satire that he once had to listen to a 30 minute story about a fishing trip during a routine cleaning.  “You’d think that surgical mask he wears would deflect or absorb some of it…but it doesn’t.  You can smell everything…you can smell absolutely everything.”  

Ninja Satire attempted to reach Dr. O’Reilly for comment but was told by his staff that he had stepped out of the office.  However, an eyewitness told one of our reporters that he spotted Dr. O’Reilly standing in line at a local convenience store holding a bottle of Listerine in one hand and a container of chlorine bleach in the other.

  1. I had Dr. O’Reilly as my dentist when I was a kid. Visits to his office were pure torture. I thought about it for a while and decided to fight back.

    You know how sound waves sent in opposite directions and at the same depth cancel each other out so that you can’t hear anything? Smells work the same way. So I stopped brushing my teeth and my breath started to stink really badly. My friends all started to avoid me and my girlfriend left me for another guy. But the next time I went to see the Big-O, I didn’t smell a thing!

  2. I would never go to a dentist in Wisconsin. Between the beer, bratwurst, and cheese, the breaths from the dentists tend to reek something nasty.

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