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’70s Folk/Rock Band Blames Bush Administration for Horrendous International Record Sales

In Business, Culture, Democrats, Entertainment, Humor, Music, News, Political Satire, Politics, Pop Culture, Republicans, Satire, The President Bush Indirectly Ruined My Life Office, Travel on November 16, 2010 at 20:14

PERTH, AUSTRALIA — When Gerry Beckley, Dewey Bunnell, and Dan Peek decided to call their band America, they had no idea the sorts of emotions the word would eventually stir up in other parts of the world, never imagining that anti-American sentiments would affect record sales in any way.  However, founding member Gerry Beckley tells Ninja Satire that record sales abroad have hit an all time low, and as far as he is concerned, it’s all President Bush’s fault.

Beckley says that the group first noticed a dip in international record sales shortly after the start of the Iraq War in March of 2003.  “It was pretty immediate…the effect on our record sales that is,” said Beckley, who spoke to Ninja Satire from Australia where the band had just wrapped up their 40th anniversary tour.  “Suddenly people from around the world wanted nothing to do with anything American, including us…apparently.  The real kick in the balls is that the three of us spent a lot of time overseas in England.  Our fathers were in the American Air Force and our mothers were British.”

The 58-year-old songwriter, who was born in Ft. Worth, Texas, says he has no doubts about who is ultimately responsible for the lousy record sales.  “President Bush…” said Beckley, “…it’s all Bush’s fault.  The son of a bitch had to prove to the world that he had a pair…then, it’s all shock and awe, command and destroy, and suddenly America can’t sell more than a handful of Greatest Hits albums anywhere in the world…all ’cause of that clodhopping, cow-tipping, corn-fed country bumpkin…f*!#?n’ hillbilly.”

Reportedly, the band had considered changing its name to Foreigner in 2006 before quickly realizing that the name was already taken.

In recent years, America has been touring overseas more and more in an effort to boost their lackluster record sales abroad.  In the past year alone the band has hit Australia, Mexico, Canada, Panama, Brazil, and the Dominican Republic.  For now, Beckley says the band is taking time off from touring to spend the holidays with their families.

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