Master Kushikimi-San's

Prince William’s New Fiancée Reminds Millions of British Women Just How Much Their Lives Suck

In Culture, Humor, In The News, Life, News, Political Satire, Politics, Pop Culture, Satire, The It Must Be Nice to be Rich and Famous Desk, Tidbits on November 17, 2010 at 18:35

LONDON, ENGLAND — Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton announced their engagement this week at St. James Palace in London reminding millions of British women exactly how sad and meaningless their lives really are.  Upon reading the announcement in a local newspaper, one British woman quietly thought to herself, really…what’s the point of getting up in the morning?

Ninja Satire was able to interview dozens of British woman, many of whom still seemed to harbor teenage fantasies of marrying Prince William and becoming the next Princess of Wales.  One woman said, “I never really thought it would happen…I mean…him marrying someone else.  It takes a lot of bollocks for someone of his stature to marry a grotty trollup like her.”  When asked why she harbored such a negative attitude towards Ms. Middleton, she said, “well…she’s a real slapper now isn’t she…and a gormless plonker to boot.”

An expert on British culture told Ninja Satire that woman in England haven’t been this depressed since they found out George Michael was gay, and that it is unclear exactly how far-reaching the effect of the couple’s announcement will be.  However, according to one British newspaper, women from all over England seem to be “in a fog” and walking around with “pursuant rain clouds over their heads.”  Then again, it could just be the lousy weather.

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  1. Was your staff able to garner any early ideas on who these women might gravitate toward next?

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