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Mad Hatter Distances Himself from Tea Party Crowd

In Books, Democrats, Election News, Entertainment, Family, Humor, In The News, Movies, News, Political Satire, Politics, Republicans, Satire on November 1, 2010 at 21:16

In a statement released Monday from Wonderland, the Mad Hatter announced that he is “in no way associated with these tea paaahtiers,” and asked those attending tea party rallies to, “tone it down…yaw giving us lovable loooooons a baaahd name.”  This marks the first time the Hatter has spoken publicly since the theatrical release of Fatal Attraction (1987).  Speaking on the behalf of his close friend, the March Hare, he blasted the makers of the film for its cruelty to rabbits.

The Mad Hatter also stated that, “these Tea Paaahty chaahracters are cah-raaaazy!!!  They’re dangerously dowe-py…unbelieeeevabely unsettled…wildly wee-ahd…why…I say, they don’t even drink tea at tea time!  Where’s the teeeeeeeea!?!?”  Tea Party candidates from around the country were quick to dismiss the Hatter’s comments as trivial.  Roger Townsend, a Tea Party candidate from Fargo, North Dakota said, “the Hatter is a crazed lunatic who speaks wildly and without any thought what-so-ever…who in the world would take anything a man like that says seriously?”

“Imagine…this crowd is too wild and crazy even for the Mad Hatter…now that is saying something,” said CNN political analyst Candy Crowley, adding, “the Hatter shows us who we really are…although unrefined at times, he speaks the truth about a wide range of issues.”  Tea Party organizers are quick to point out that as a child, Crowley played the role of Tweedle Dee in her grade school’s production of Alice in Wonderland and that her opinion on the subject is undoubtedly biased. 

It is hard to speculate as to the effect the Hatter’s statement will have on Tuesday’s elections.  His statement in 1987 did little to slow the success of Fatal Attraction at the box office.  Ninja Satire attempted to contact the Mad Hatter for further comment but was told by his sleepy friend the Dormouse that the Hatter was “busy celebrating his 52,780th un-birthday” and “could not be disturbed.”

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