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Linda McMahon Challenges Opponent to Steel Cage Match

In 2010 Midterm Elections, Election News, Humor, News, Political Satire, Politics, Professional Wrestling, Satire on October 17, 2010 at 18:33

Linda McMahon, the former CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment running for the United States Senate in Connecticut, released a statement Sunday challenging her opponent Richard Blumenthal to a steel cage match.

In the statement, McMahon stipulates that the match will take place on Monday November 1st, the eve of Election Day, on WWE’s Monday Night Raw.  The contest will be a “no disqualification” match and the loser must “bow out” of the race allowing the winner an easy victory when the voters head to the polls the following day.

“Blumenthal doesn’t have the guts to face me in the ring,” said McMahon, who has been trailing her Democratic rival in the polls since winning her party’s primary on August 10th.  She added, “he might be able to dance around and land a few punches on the debate stage, but let’s see how he does inside four walls of solid steel…I’ll break him in half.”

When reached for comment Blumenthal told Ninja Satire that he has no intention of meeting her in the ring and that Linda McMahon is a “psycho.”  He added, “how in the world am I only ahead by five points in the polls…I mean listen to this broad…cage matches?  I should be ahead by twenty.”

Ninja Satire asked McMahon if she hoped to get Blumenthal in the ring so that she could kick him “where it hurts” as she did to famed wrestling announcer Jim Ross, to which she replied, “Sure…I’d kick him in the balls…if he had any.”

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