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Grimm Fairy Tales Series at Local Theater Leaves Kids Traumatized

In Culture, Entertainment, Family, Humor, News, Satire, Theater on October 22, 2010 at 15:46

Parents in New Brunswick, New Jersey are up in arms about a local children’s theater and their production of fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm.  According to reports, children who have seen the show at the Happy Time Playhouse have been having night terrors on a regular basis following the performance.

One concerned father said, “my son has been sleeping in our bed for months because he thinks Rumpelstiltskin is hiding under his bed.  How am I supposed to have sex with my wife?  This show is ruining my marriage.”  Another parent stated, “my daughter won’t go out on sunny days because she is convinced that her shadow is the big bad wolf…I don’t know what to do…she’s petrified.”

The theater puts on plays every Saturday night including Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, and Rumpelstiltskin.  Marcus Pinebluff, the creative director for the show and New School graduate told Ninja Satire, “I’m not one for butchering the works of master storytellers like the Brothers Grimm.  When the big bad wolf eats the grandmother in Little Red Riding Hood, I want the audience to experience the true carnage of it.”  Parents told our reporters that during this particular scene, Pinebluff had mic’d up stage hands grind dry pasta between their teeth to simulate the crunching of bones.

Thomas Landry, the theater’s owner, told Ninja Satire that he knew nothing about Pinebluff’s methods and that his application included, what he thought, were glowing recommendations from his drama professors.  “One professor wrote that his audiences were often left speechless and that his work was unforgettable,” Landry said, “apparently he wasn’t kidding…” 

Landry has yet to see the show in its entirety but based on the reviews he said, “I think I’ll pass…I experienced enough carnage and bone-crunching in Vietnam.”