Trauma Surgeon Loses Game of Operation to Nine Year Old

BOSTON, MA — Dr. David Rothstein, a vascular surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital, shocked friends and colleagues recently when he was beaten by fourth grader Lindsay Wilcox in the classic kids’ game Operation.  Dr. Rothstein and his wife Patricia were attending a dinner party when the young girl challenged the good doctor to a friendly game, a game that ended in total embarrassment for the Harvard Medical School Graduate. 

“Towards the end of the game I was able to grab the wish bone without the guy’s nose lighting up,” said Dr. Rothstein, “that gave me the $300 I needed to get back in the game.”  Rothstein was leading and only needed to snag the infamous bread basket to put the game out of reach.  However, after dozens of failed attempts, his pint-sized opponent was able to grab all the remaining pieces, including the bread basket on her very first try.

The girl’s mother, Julie Wilcox, could not believe what she just witnessed.  “The room fell silent…I mean, how embarrassing to lose in front of all those other doctors.  It’s like a child beating a real estate agent in a game of Monopoly,” said the mother.  Another guest, Dr. James Williams, had a similar view, saying, “do you think in a million years a Boston Police Detective would lose a game of Clue to some kid?”

The head of the Trauma Center at Mass. General, Dr. William Osterman, told Ninja Satire that he’s not particularly impressed by Dr. Rothstein’s performance.  “I’m afraid he might not be the surgeon I thought he was,” said Dr. Osterman, “seriously…all you have to do is grab a view pieces of plastic with a pair of tweezers without the buzzer going off…shouldn’t be too difficult.”  When asked if Dr. Rothstein would lose his job over the incident, Dr. Osterman said, “I’m going to assume he had too much wine with dinner…but you can bet your bottom dollar he’ll be operating under fairly intense scrutiny for the next few months.”