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ELECTION DAY COVERAGE: NBC Projects Tom Brady Wins Massachusetts Governor’s Race

In 2010 Midterm Elections, Democrats, Election News, Football, Humor, In The News, News, Political Satire, Politics, Republicans, Satire, Sports on November 2, 2010 at 20:38

Early results out of the State of Massachusetts have New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady leading the Governor’s race with 68% of the vote and 10% of precincts reporting.  NBC officially announced that it projects Brady will be the winner after all the votes are counted.

“This is a surprise for the ages,” said MSNBC anchor Chris Mathews, adding, “not one of Mr. Brady’s Super Bowl wins could possibly compare to tonight’s victory.”  Fed up with the status quo, it seems that Massachusetts voters decided to write-in a candidate for Governor as opposed to voting for one of the candidates already on the ballot.  It just so happens that a vast majority of them wrote in Brady’s name.

Exit polls out of Massachusetts suggest that Brady’s popularity goes beyond the football field.  One voter exiting the polls stated, “I voted for Tom Brady.  He’s the only one in this state who has accomplished anything in the past ten years.  It’s time we had a higher caliber of leadership in the State House.”  Another voter remarked, “I voted for Brady…you know…the quarterback.  I figure if he’s Governor he’ll have to cut off that girlish hairdo he’s got goin’ on there,”  while female voters seemed to agree that, “he’s not bad to look at…definitely a hunk and a total DILF…like a guy version of Sarah Palin.” 

Ninja Satire was unable to reach Tom Brady for comment on his unexpected Election Day victory.  However, residents of Maine, Connecticut, Vermont, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire are reportedly outraged by tonight’s turn of events, with one disgruntled Pats fan asking, “why, God…why?”

  1. His scrambling skills will help him in his new job.

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