Master Kushikimi-San's

ELECTION DAY COVERAGE: Exit Polling Indicates Charlie Crist Doing Poorly Amongst Florida Jews

In 2010 Midterm Elections, Democrats, Election News, Humor, In The News, News, Political Satire, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Satire on November 2, 2010 at 18:31

Exit polling out of the State of Florida shows that Independent candidate for Senate Charlie Crist is not faring well amongst Jewish voters.  Democratic Party leaders in the state are blaming the tendency of Jewish voters in Florida to vote Democrat, however, some experts believe that older Jews with poor eyesight may have misread the former Governor’s last name on the ballot.

Gregory Goldman, the head of one of Florida’s largest political consulting firms, contends that Jewish seniors, either consciously or subconsciously, worked their way down the ballot sheet with their failing eyes, saw the name “Christ”, and moved on to the next candidate.  “Even if you consider his former ties to the Republicans, there is no reason that his (Crist’s) numbers amongst Jewish voters should be this bad,” said Goldman.  “Looks like Florida’s geriatrics may have blown another election.”

Of course, nobody can forget what happened during the 2000 Presidential Election when thousands upon thousands of elderly Floridians, intending to vote for Vice President Al Gore, mistakenly voted for Reform Party candidate Pat Buchanan.  Many experts blamed the poor eyesight of Florida’s seniors in combination with a confusing ballot arrangement known as the “butterfly” ballot.  The beneficiary of course was then Governor of Texas George W. Bush, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Charlie Crist was unavailable for comment regarding the exit poll figures.  However, Ninja Satire has learned that in an effort to win over any Jewish voters who have yet to hit the polls, Crist has sent out a robo-call saying, “scholem-aleykhem!  Ick heys Charlie Crist, un ikh farlangen ayer untershtitsn arayn hayntik valn.  Ikh hofn oyf ayer shtim.  A dank, lang lebn zolt ir, un lang lebn zolt ir Amerike!”

  1. Well, I’ll be damned!

  2. ELECTION DAY COVERAGE: Exit Polling Indicates Charlie Crist Doing ……

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……

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