Master Kushikimi-San's

Philip Morris Stops Production of Zodiac Themed Cigarette Packs

In Business, Health, Humor, News, Satire, Tidbits on October 22, 2010 at 14:34

Philip Morris announced Friday that it has abandoned the idea to distribute packs of cigarettes bearing the signs of the zodiac and corresponding horoscopes due to the fact that buyers might not want to see the word “cancer” splayed across the box on every smoke break.

“Obviously it was a miscalculation,” said a Philip Morris executive who wishes to remain anonymous.  “Our research showed that many cigarette smokers are also into astrology.  It seemed like a no-brainer.  We completely forgot about Cancer.”  There is no word on exactly how many packs were produced prior to the decision but many employees at the company have told Ninja Satire that special edition boxes had been in production for months. 

Janis Potter, an anti-smoking activist from Olympia, Washington said, “it shows how clueless they really are.  The only thing on their minds is the bottom line…they don’t give a damn about the health of their customers.”

The company also announced that they have decided to go with their original idea of commemorating famous cigarette smoking icons who have passed on.  Ninja Satire was able to sneak a peek at the Sammy Davis Jr. design and our staff agrees that it looks absolutely faaaah-bulous.

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