Master Kushikimi-San's

Student Invents Life-Alert for Lazy People

In Humor, News, Satire, Science/Technology, Tidbits on October 7, 2010 at 01:22

“I’ve fallen and I CAN get up…I just don’t feel like it right now.”  That is the slogan of a new product invented by Charlie Worthington.  “In a nation with a population as unmotivated as ours, this product has GOT to catch on,” said Worthington, a 23 year-old engineering grad-student at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh, PA. 

Worthington first got the idea during his freshman year at the University of Michigan when he noticed over time that his roommate seemed quite happily glued to the light blue recliner they had just purchased from a local thrift store.  “I made a point to invite him down to the dining hall for dinner, or out to parties on a pretty consistent basis…but he never budged.  He’d just smile and say ‘I’m good man.’  So one day I asked him, ‘Russell, you’re looking quite thin…and pale…you really should eat something…’ to which he replied, ‘I know man…its not that I’m not hungry…I’m starving actually…I just don’t feel like getting up right now.’  That’s when the light bulb appeared over my head,” said Worthington.  “This kid needed help.”

So over the next few years Worthington began developing a device to be worn around ones neck that when activated would alert local EMS personnel to respond to that location for the purpose of assisting the person in, as he puts it, “peeling their fat, lazy ass off the sofa.”

The device, aptly named Rescue the Unmotivated Slacker System (RUSS for short), is due to hit stores this week, and according to Worthington, the timing couldn’t be better.  “Unemployment is at an all time high right now,  which means there are more potential buyers than we could have imagined.  Combine those numbers to the millions of people using Farmville on Facebook and we should do quite well.”


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